Unhealthy thoughts

I know these thoughts are unhealthy, but somehow I cant keep them from coming today. Somehow, today, they overwhelm me. I know I am a good person. I have good character traits and a good heart. Yet I cant help but feel less than an ant. Jason walked away from knowing me. But with everything that has happened to me and those around me, somehow I feel like they are better off without me. Jason, my family, the earth in general. It hurts alot. I cant stop crying. I feel like I'm going back into depression. Why I dont know. Maybe cos I cant find a reason for living. I dont feel like I am contributing in any way. I thought I had alot to give, but the people around me dont seem to want to take it. Should I stay on here in Singapore or should I go to Australia or some part of the world where no one knows me? I still feel like going to Korea. Maybe they will take me in there. Maybe the children there will love me. Jesus.... you said that all I need is you. I have you dont I? Then why do I still feel this way? It been almost 1 year.... that he chose to walk away. That he broke my heart beyond repair. Yet why does it still feel like yesterday? I want to create content. Cos I want the world to be a better place. But are people willing to listen? Are people willing to watch? The things I want to share, to tell... people know it already. They dont need me to tell them. Like be nice. Be kind. Be considerate. Yet the world is still so selfish, so greedy, so mean, so unkind. How do I tell a story that will not bore them, but put them into action? That people will do something to change their lives? I wish there is someone who can say I make him smile. Just as I want people to bring out the best in me, I want to bring out the best in others too. I seem to have lost my strength, the courage Jesus gave me, the faith & the trust I had in God. I feel like I'm a waste of skin to mankind. No one will remember me when I die, if I were to disappear. There's no legacy that I left here on this world. Those I dated... they have their families now. NO one remembers me. Those that borke my heart... they too have moved on and had their happy families. What am I? Why am I here?