Memories

The gala event for Ah Boys to Men Musical brought back many memories. 

I miss the days where I attend events free and I am the centre of attraction. But why? Why do I miss that? What does it add to me? 

The sergeants in the musical remind me of Jason. Perhaps coz his last hairstyle was very similar. Also saw a dude who looked like Phils. 

I want to let go. I have to. It's not good for me. But what's in the way? Maybe all I need is just time. 

I miss having all that attention where everyone is talking about me. Why? What does that say about me? What does that change about me and who I am? Nothing. Why is it such a big deal for me? 

My identity is in God. Not my status. The glam is great- being treated like a "goddess" is nice. But even if I am not treated like a goddess I am still valuable. I am still God's child. I am still me! He gave His ONLY SON to die for me. It's not hair 1 life for mine. But it's His precious son. And Jesus is also the creator of this earth. He is Almighty! Awesome! Amazing! But He laid His life down for me! Doesn't it say something? 

My life is more than all the attention that people can give me. Why should I be so bothered over whether I have a lot of attention or not? Shouldn't make any difference to me isn't it? 

So like what auntie iris said - focus. I've been called back into production. So let's get back into production. 

If this is what God called me back for, He will open doors. Let's do some honest work rather than trying to strike rich. 

God knows all my dreams. The places I want to travel to and visit. The houses that I would like to have. The car that I want. And the family I want to have. 

He will bring all of that to pass. My focus is Him. Not the material things that people around me have and I don't. 

What about the gifts and talents that I have that they don't? 

Let's treasure the people around me. Let's show them who Jesus is. 

Holy Spirit, I need you to keep me calm and collected and focused on Jesus. 

I know that in time I will have such things. Not as a reflection of who I am but because I need to use them. N if I don't have that yet, God will send people around me who will bless me. N that also means I don't have a real need for it yet. 

God is good and faithful. He will bring His plans to pass. 

Amen!