Eventually couldn't stop crying. Cos as I sing and praise Him, I know He is great. I know He has done a lot for me. Although I don't know why my brother behaved the way he did and why the family "shattered" and I feel abandoned and unloved, I know God loves me.
And I guess somehow there was comfort.
There was also a lot of pain. Cos I feel very misunderstood. Very unappreciated. Hurt. Disappointed.
What keeps repeating in my mind is the qn "Why couldn't my brother see past everything? What is he so hurt and upset by that he keeps thinking I'm attacking him and wants him out of the house?"
Never did I once say anything bout chasing him out. All I ever ask for was his consideration which he didn't seem to have. I've done so much for him yet he doesn't seem to remember a single bit of it!
I supported him and sided him when mom didn't. I helped him when mom n dad didn't want to.
What got in the way?
It's heartbreaking but I refuse to be stepped all over n taken for granted.
Everything I did was for the family. But he never saw any of that.
He had been freeloading off the family. Yet he is not appreciative. All he thinks is of how he will SHOW the family when he gets rich.
But there's no need to show anything.
He doesn't participate in our family lunch n meals. And he is the son. What kind of son is that?!
How much hurt and pain is he carrying?!
Is there nothing that can be done to relief him of that?!
Oh Lord.... What do I do?
I know I am never going to apologise. I didn't do anything wrong. Not even kicking him out of the house.
So how will this relationship be reconciled?!
Obviously he has issues. But with all the pride he has, he is never going to see it or recognise it. Do I just leave it? God! What is to be?!
😢
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