Relationships

What do I want? I really dont know. I want someone who is willing to spend his life with me, making a life out of our lives. Doing things together, sharing moments - happy and sad together. Whether or not we have children, I dont know. I would like children of my own.... only because I like babies. But do I really want kids? Would I make a good mom? I dont know. I look at Michelle, Sandra, Cecilia... and they seemed happy, contented just being a homemaker. Would I ever be that way if I were to stop everything and be a mom? What do I really want in life? At the moment I just seemed so overwhelmed with the pains of the past. Will I ever get over them and just live properly like a person? Happy with where I am at? And being alone? Did I leave Australia to run away from the pain? Only to come back to Singapore to experience more pain? God.... I really dont like feeling this way and living this way. Help me find my way. Help me find joy in the midst of everything.